a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
