I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
