Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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