Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The best revenge is premature balding
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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