Walk of Shame. In a state park.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Two words: nipple clamps
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