i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
