Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
