Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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