so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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