You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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