I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize