Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
