is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I want her autograph on my taint
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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