the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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