I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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