You can't special order awesome
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
