Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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