You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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