worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
