I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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