I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
