If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
