That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
