What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
