the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize