I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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