They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
