whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
