What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
