Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it's like heaven, but drunker
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
