This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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