Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
