just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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