we have pet lesbian snakes
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
