No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
