I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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