She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize