one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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