It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
this just has baby written all over it
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
