Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
