Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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