why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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