Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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