Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
