If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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