do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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