Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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