we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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