fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
