The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
