didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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