Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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