Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
