i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
