girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize