Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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