people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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