just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
