My room smells like vodka and shame
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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