Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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