i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize