I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize