i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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