another moral hangover. fuck.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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