is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
