TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
