I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
