I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Randomize
