physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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